Eve (The Real Story)

Well, you know, it was like this:

With Adam being a bit of a jerk and never having an honest opinion about anything, and me not the sort of girl who likes being told what to do and what to eat and everything, god and I had a chat and I told god I really needed a change of scenery, and god was a bit hesitant because it hadn’t even finished creating time really, but I insisted and said I don’t just want to sit up here in Paradise doing nothing while the world goes to pieces, and god said okay, love, I’ll speed it up as much as I can, and make a flight you can get on, where did you want to go exactly? And I told him Mallorca because it looked really nice and not too different from here (apart from the humans of course) so the change would be a little easier, and god said fine, I’ll fix that. But please promise to come back to see me occasionally, and tell me how you’re doing, Eve! I said of course I will, but you are supposed to be able to see everything that happens, so what can I tell you anyway? It’s not the same thing, god said, it’s like tv and social media and all that, it’s not anything like actual real life, not at all! Yeah, I know about that all right, I said, and anyway I’ll probably miss you sometimes so sure I’ll be back, and god said good, and I’ll miss you too, Eve. And that’s how it came to be that I am on this beach, and I’m sure god spotted the tear in my eye like I saw the one in god’s when we parted and I got on the plane. But we agreed that somebody really, really had to go and try to save the humans from themselves.

Eve.  

The Green Room

The Green Room (Aubrey and Janet in the mists of time)

Janet: – Hey! I think I like being human!

Aubrey: – Really?

Janet; – Yeah! I mean, I look, like, really good, don’t I?

Aubrey: – Really?

Alice (from behind the camera): – Shhh! Stop talking! You’re both going to look really stupid with your mouths open!

J & A together: – REALLY?

Laugh breakdown for several minutes. In the end I did get them to be still long enough to take the picture. I’m not sure why, actually. We can’t take it with us anyway, can we? Perfect timing, though, literally: I got it just as time began collapsing at the edges.

Alice (of wonders)

Sad

Caitlin is sad. She wants to be human, but when she says what she thinks people don’t want her around. But if she doesn’t, what’s the point of talking? She thinks that humans talk mainly to make other humans like them. And to check that what they say is what others like to hear. To become better at thinking the ways others want them to. Which ends up being more or less what they think themselves. So humans try to think the way and like the things all the others do, because that way everyone likes them. 

They have even invented gadgets and a huge network to make it easier to make sure that what they think is what others like them to. So that they can quickly erase any erroneous thoughts from their mind. From the very earliest age they get these brain-washing machines thrust into their tiny hands, and before their defenceless little minds-in-being. 

It seems to her that humans, totally lost in this world of virtual reality and artificial intelligence, are no longer individuals, only fractions of a great common external identity made from what comes out of mostly very tiny screens, designed by people who haven’t the faintest idea what they are doing except for the bit about making money.

 This makes Caitlin very sad. Because who decides which are the right things to think in the first place? But she knows that’s one of the wrong things to ask. On second thoughts, maybe she doesn’t want to be human after all. She is tired of trying so hard all the time. Alice comforts her, tells her that she understands. And that humans have probably just forgotten what they are. Or maybe more like, what they aren’t, she says.

Caitlin smiles and takes her hand. It is warm, and slightly moist, like she has just come out of a hot bath.